Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Tracy McGrady Talks His Talents Out of Chicago

 Tracy McGrady went to Chicago to show the Bulls that he still can score, run, pass & rebound however they need him to. He can be a valuable member of a team loading up for a championship run. And he can be something he's never been before: a second round playoff player.
 Tracy accomplished all that on the court at his tryout. Then he said, "This was a great team, a pretty good team, without adding myself and Carlos Boozer." 
 What? They haven't added him yet. He's still counting chickens like when his Magic were up 3-1 on the Pistons and he mentioned how amped he was to "finally be in the position to advance to the second round." Three 20+ point blowouts later, TMac was gone fishin'. Again.
 McGrady added, "Without me, without Boozer, they're a .500 club. And with the guys that they added, if they add me, I think we'll be 30 points better. So they have a really good chance of being good."
 He finished by saying, "If I was a bad locker room guy, I don't think (they) would have had any interest in bringing me here."
 Right. They're not because you are. Here's a deeper look into the mind of McGrady.
Vince Carter: Yo Cuz! You still in the league too! We got this in the blood right?
TMac: Yeah VC. If you really really look at it, we're the real "first family" in NBA history. Ain't like Luke Walton is an all-star right? Anybody could buy a ring but you gotta get votes to be an all-star.
TMac: You know why this Magic thing ain't workin'?
Grant Hill: Because of my ankle?
TMac: Nah man. Actually your ankle allowed me to shine. I had career years when I was free from you & Vince slowing me down with college fundamentals.
Grant: Then why were we 1-19 the year I missed?
TMac: Yet but I led the league in scoring. That's what I'm talkin' about.
Grant: Tracy, maybe you should've gone to college.
TMac: Yo Bron, this fool sayin' I shoulda gone to college. Please, I paved the way for young guys like you.
LeBron: Actually, Kobe & Kevin paved my way. I don't really know anything about you dude.
TMac: Haha that's funny. Seriously though.
LeBron: Now that I think about it, Darius Miles was the last straight from high school kid who cited you as an influence and look how that turned out.
TMac: Agggh! Round one, game one dunk on your ass Bradley!
Shawn Bradley: Two weeks from now, you'll be gone fishin'.
TMac: I said greatest first round playoff dunk ever!
 
TMac: Yo K-Bry.
Kobe: It's Kobe.
TMac: OK, Kay. Listen man, if I'd had Shaq I'd have me some rings too.
Kobe: But I've won two without Shaq.
TMac: Whatever. You had Rick Fox while I had Ron Artest.
Kobe: I won with Ron Artest too.
TMac: OK so just say it. You think it's cuz of my eyes don't you.
Kobe: Nah I just think it's because I've learned to get my teammates involved.
TMac: Baaahahahahahaha. Nah seriously. Blame my eyes before you say I should ever pass the ball.
Yao: If I'm too injured to help the Rockets or the Chinese team, I will retire instead of holding them back.
TMac: If I can't get 35 minutes a night here, I'll go somewhere else. Iverson ain't got shit on me.
TMac: What? I saved this city. Marbury ruined the number 3 jersey and I brought it back to respectablity. And this is the thanks I get? David Lee is a bigger free agency priority than me?
TMac: I'm officially endorsing Vitamin Water.
CNBC: Vitamin Water stocks plummeted after Tracy McGrady announced he was endorsing their product.
    



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