No LeBron! You did not just talk about taking your talents to no South Beach. Miami ain't shit. Ever heard of Shanxi, China? Can you even say Shanxi or do you need Chris Paul to say it for you?
Shanxi is where my talents dwell. Yeah they want me in Miami. LeBron will probably squash the story before it comes out, but he wanted me and he wanted a piece of my shoe company too.
But I've already conquered the NBA. I'm the 10th highest paid player ever. I almost made more than Jordan & LeBron combined. $151 million. What's left for me to prove?
In China, the level of respect is much higher. Not only have I signed a new contract with the Shanxi Brave Dragons, but my team will help me open 3 Starbury stores with my discount shoes in Taiyuan, the city where we play. I haven't heard about any King James Boutiques in South Beach. Have you?
Not only that, in the last season of my three year deal, I have the option to be an assistant coach if I want. I'm the Avery Johnson meets Chuck Taylor of China.
Maybe I should go on my own recruiting campaign. I know Shaq's a free agent and he did used to have cheap shoes too. Imagine Starbury with the Big Shaq Tzu? Yo and if we got Tracy McGrady too? Unstoppable Chinese champions!
We'll see about that. For now, I'm gonna just play my game and my cards. I'm the biggest star selling shoes living in the biggest country in the world. If you really think about it, that makes me bigger than LeBron & Jordan again right?
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