Mojo Jinx

 Feels like a basketball jinx around here at Mojo Hoops. So many of my favorite NBA ballers are out with serious injuries. In an effort to end the Mojo Jinx, I'm appealing to the basketball gods to heal my dudes and lift the curse.

 Joakim Noah, thumb ligament. He'll already miss the All-Star game. Heal his thumb for a deep playoff run.

 Kevin Garnett, calf strain. Normally, that's not a serious injury. But at 34 years of age and 15 years in the league, KG is in his old dog years. Heal him up for one more run with Doc (who looks worried as hell in the photo).

 Delonte West, compound wrist fracture. He'd barely come back from serving Czar Stern's heavy handed suspension before he badly broke his wrist. Bring him back strong so he can help the Celtics beat LeBron in the playoffs.

 Matt Barnes, torn knee cartilage. Welcomed by Kobe in the off-season, Barnes has finally joined a squad that knows how to use his defensive skills. Now he's out until March. The Lakers are going to need him to join Artest in messing with Ginobili in the playoffs. Basketball gods, Free Matt Barnes! (sorry Rev. Ev. I couldn't resist).

 Caron Butler, torn knee tendon. Butler is out for the season just when the Mavs were showing signs that they could take the West. The Spurs have stayed healthy and Caron goes down. Ginobili, the flopper, is healthy. Richard Jefferson, the luckiest player in Texas, somehow stays healthy. And Caron is out for the year. Something just ain't right about that.

 Anderson Varejao, broken cheekbone, torn foot tendon. It was bad when Varejao hugged and giggled with LeBron during the Heat's annihilation of the Cavs in Cleveland. Seems like the basketball gods have punished him for it. First, he broke his face. Actually, his cheekbone. When he came out in the Bill Laimbeer mask, that seemed to infuriate the basketball gods even more so they busted his foot tendon while he was running a simple practice drill. The next day, the Lakers beat the Cavs by 55 points. Ain't that a bitch.

 Basketball gods, oh basketball gods- heal all these dudes! Turn LeBron's ankle if you must. Break Ginobili's nose if it pleases you. But for the sake of basketball fans who like players who entertain with defense and hustle, lift the Mojo Jinx!

Shaq: The Big Geezer Still Got Game

 Shaquille O'Neal is beasting in Boston. At 38, Shaq is the oldest player in the NBA. Yet last night against the Nets, he showed he's still capable of dominating opponents and taking over games. He had a game high 25 points while shooting 9-10 from the field. He led the Celtics with 11 rebounds in their 89-83 win over New Jersey. 

 "(My teammates) were very unselfish," Shaq said. "I go to the hole and got a lot of easy baskets. That's kind of how I want to play at 38." 

 Shaq's 25 points were his highest since the 2008-09 season when he was with the Phoenix Suns. He also shot 5-8 from the line in the fourth quarter when the Nets resorted to Hack-a-Shaq in desperation. 

 Shaq had his first double double of the season two nights earlier in a 99-76 blowout of the Hawks. In that game, he had 13 points and 11 rebounds while battling rising stars Al Horford and Josh Smith in the paint.

 "I told him he looked like the 2000 Shaq," said Kevin Garnett. "The 1999 Shaq, the 2001 and 2002 to 2003 to 2004 to 2005 to 2006."

 Shaq loves playing with Garnett and said as much when asked about their relationship on the court.

 "I've played on a lot of other teams where the other team didn't have to respect the four (power forward). So being that they have to respect him means that there's a lot more room for me. It also means there's a lot more room for him, so we're going to use each other. I think it's a good fit."

 Garnett feels the same about Shaq and said so in his own way.

 "Shaq is like a paradise, man," said Garnett. You ever wash your sheets and then when you go out, you hang them out and when the sun dries the, you smell your sheets? That's what Shaq is."

 The Big Shamrock, the Big Geezer, the Big Clean Sheets. Shaq is rolling in Boston. 

Kevin Garnett Squashes Villanueva Cancer Misunderstanding

 Kevin Garnett clarified the misunderstanding that led to Charlie Villanueva misquoting him on twitter after the Celtics' 109-86 blow out of the Pistons Tuesday night. Villanueva accused Garnett of saying the Pistons forward looks like a cancer patient with his hairlessness. 

 "I am aware there was a major miscommunication regarding something I said on the court last night," Garnett said in a statement. "My comment to Charlie Villanueva was in fact 'You are cancerous to your team and our league.' I would never be insensitive to the brave struggle that cancer patients endure. I have lost loved ones to this deadly disease and have a family member currently undergoing treatment. I would never say anything that distasteful. The game of life is far bigger than the game of basketball."

 Now that that's settled, Charlie Villanueva can focus on the real problems in his life like being a 6'11" guy who's averaging only 5.9 rebounds in 25.9 minutes per game over his career.  Or how about the fact that in five years with three different teams, he's only won more than 28 games once, and that was 34 games with the Bucks in 2008-09. 

 The Bucks didn't fight to keep Villanueva after that season and he signed with the Pistons as a free agent. Milwaukee won 12 more games the next season. That same year, the Pistons lost 12 more games than they'd won the year before Villanueva got there. Coincidence? I think not.

 Kevin Garnett may have a point, if he really said what he says he said about Charlie Villanueva.

    

Charlie Villanueva cries about Kevin Garnett cancer joke

 After suffering a 109-86 beatdown by the Boston Celtics Tuesday night, Pistons forward Charlie Villanueva tweeted his displeasure with Kevin Garnett's trash talk during the game. He accused Garnett of calling him a "cancer patient". 

 Villanueva has alopecia universalis which is a condition that leaves him with no body hair including eyebrows and eyelashes. Villanueva said he was "pissed" because he knows people who have died from cancer and that Garnett shouldn't joke about it.

 I appreciate Villanueva's concern for cancer patients. I've suffered significant and devastating loss in my family due to the cruelty of cancer. Perhaps Kevin Garnett was out of line for making jokes about a serious and often fatal illness.

 However, Charlie Villanueva should man up and shut up. Tattling about what somebody said to you on the court is as soft as it gets. Imagine Dennis Rodman saying, "Charles Barkley called me a faggot and that's not nice." Not even Shawn Bradley would ever have said, "Gary Payton called me the albino saltine and that's mean to albinos."

 Fans don't need to know if Garnett talked about Villanueva's mama, if he said his girl is ugly or that he plays like a palsy patient on the court. If he didn't like what Garnett said, he should've done more in his 33 minutes to keep Garnett from scoring a game high 22 points. 

 Villanueva finished with only one foul. He easily could've used a foul to bang Garnett and tell him "That was for cancer patients you chemo breath motherfucker." The game was a blowout and the Pistons are 0-4. A good hard flagrant foul might have sent a message that at least one player besides Ben Wallace is ready to go to war for Detroit.

 Villanueva also tweeted, "KG talks alot of crap, he's prob never been in a fight, I would love to get in a ring with him, I will expose him." He had his chance to swing on KG and didn't do a damn thing. He waited until he got home and tweeted about it. 

 Tonight the Pistons play the Atlanta Hawks. I hope Villanueva isn't up all night tweeting, "Josh Smith said I cry like a bitch and dammit, dogs have feelings too."

  

  

Celtics' Locker Room Madness

 Over the last couple years, the Cavs put on one of the more entertaining extracurricular shows in the NBA. LeBron dancing his little boogie during blowouts, his teammates pretending that they were posing for photos during player intros and all of them loving all over each other until they were bounced by better teams in the playoffs. The Cleveland party got busted when LeBron dumped Mo Williams and company for his real friends Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh.

 This year, the Celtics are taking over as the fun bunch of the NBA and they are way better at it. They have Nate "KryptoNate" Robinson back with his buddy Glen "Big Baby" "Shrek" Davis. They have one of the best talkers in all of basketball, Kevin Garnett. They've added they rhyming genius of Delonte "Red" West. And to top it all off, they have the king of bug out in this era of the NBA, Shaquille "Big Aristotle" "Big Shaqtus" "Big Green Monstah" O'Neal. 

 Last week, 5'7" Nate Robinson ran suicides in Shaq's size 22 shoes before playing 1 on 1 against Delonte West in those same oversized boats. 

 This week's video is even better. A bugged out locker room dance party featuring a masked Kevin Garnett, the shirtless blubber of Big Baby and cameraman Paul Pierce hyping them up.

 It's alright to be amped about the Miami Heat's upcoming onslaught of offensive mayhem, but don't sleep on the Celtics because the party in Boston might be more fun that the one in South Beach.

     

Delonte West Is Back In Boston

 Delonte Wild West is going back to the Boston Celtics. After a rocky offseason that had allegations of sleeping with LeBron's mom in a Boston hotel & a guilty plea to weapon's possession, West now moves onward & upward with the Celtics.

 Delonte started his NBA career in Boston. He posted career bests in points (11.8 ppg) and assists (4.6 apg) in his second year there. He was dealt with Jeff Green and Wally Szczerbiak to Seattle for Ray Allen and Glen Davis in 2007. 

 General Manager Danny Ainge said, "He was one of the toughest guys for me to trade. I'd do it again, of course, but we really liked Delonte when he was here. He wasn't perfect but we still liked the player."

 West will battle Von Wafer to be Allen's backup. West may also sub for PG Rajon Rondo. 

 Wafer was waived by his Euroleague team last year. He returned to the NBA and completed a 10 day contract with the Mavs without playing a single minute. 

 With West's playoff experience, decent midrange game and toughness, he should get good minutes running with Nate Robinson, Big Baby Davis and whichever O'Neal comes off the bench between Shaquille and Jermaine. As an added bonus, with Shaq, Big Baby, Kryptonate, Kevin Garnett & now Delonte, the Celtics are packed with wild personalities. Sheed will be missed, but this will be a fun bunch in Beantown. 

 Somebody better have Delonte's chowder and Delonte better stay out of Shaq's mom's hotel room.

 

   

 

Celtics Lakers Game 6 con Mojo

Kobe: Queensbitch, Gasoft & One Leg Bynum ain't hittin' nobody out here so I guess I gotta score all the points and put the hammer on punk ass Pierce.

Pierce: Yo you just gone drop me all up in the scuff marks my dude? My wheelchair can't roll thru the all the cracks.

Kobe: I gotta remember everything now? Why should I care where it's good for you to fall, Wheelchair Boy?

KG: Cuz black giant Leprechauns kill mambas! Now watch where I show you to put Paul next time.

Kobe: Yuck! I'd rather be in a Colorado courtroom than sit with Celtic fans.

Pierce: Oh yes, thanks Kobe. This is more like it. With the right soft landing on her, I won't even need a wheelchair. I gotta remember to thank KG for this.

KG: Don't even worry about it PP. I got you.

Pierce: Ugh, uncomfortable. That ain't what I had in mind KG.

KG: Yo little man, lemme try this new kung fu on you real quick.

Allen: Yo you aight man?

Rondo: Yeah it wasn't as bad as Big Baby droolin' all over everybody.

KG: Yo Rondo. See, that shit worked right?

Odom: What the f-? Yo, this ain't hump ball. It's jump ball!

Morrison: Yeah Lamar! Thanks dude!! I need all the help I can get to get me another ring.

"Can a donkey get a table dance?"

Wade: How many rings do I have, son?

Kid: One, Dad.

Wade: And how many does LeBron have?

Kid: None, Dad.

Wade: Who should Larry King have interviewed?

Kid: You, Dad.

Wade: Exactly. 

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Boston's Big Drooling Baby & KryptoNate

Heart transplant brings Pierce back to life.

Little Nate & Big Baby step up to take a load off Pierce.

Nate backs down to no one, not even Ron Ron & Black Mamba.

He gives his body up with no fear,

and maintains the intensity of an NFL special teams player

while Big Baby drools in celebration of his own outstanding hustle plays.

In game 4, coach Doc Rivers rode the successful play of his bench until deep in the 4th quarter.

Big Baby had 18 points, 5 boards & 2 steals in 22 minutes.

Nate had 12 points, 2 assists & a steal in 16 minutes.

Both played like all-stars and got extra minutes in the 4th because of their outstanding play.

Quotes from Baby on Game 4:

This is what legends are made of. This is where you grasp the moment. Just play in the moment."

"All I'm thinking about is, 'Let's win.' I'm not thinking about anything else. I'm just worried about winning, whatever it takes to win, and just making sure that I give my teammates positive energy to finish out the game."

"I felt like a beast."

Big Baby, Big Beast.

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Lakers Celtics - Game 3 con Mojo

"Everyone who thinks Ray Allen should stop shooting, look or point left."

"Fool sit yo ass down before I put this Queensbridge Quake on you."

 

Rondo: "You just gonna let 'em punk me like that?"

Ref: 2 Thumbs Up.

The Queensbridge Hammer and...

... the lingering after effects of a concussion.

Sheed: "Young buck, if you had a grey patch right here & 2 six packs a day, you could be my Mini Me."

"Hey Ray Allen, I've seen guys at the damn Y with more game than you brought tonight."

"I like little cherry sized ones on top of silver dollars."

Kobe: "Nah dude, peanuts on pepperonis are way sexier."

KG: "Dig I ask you? Please get out my face."

Fisher: "But KG, he's right. Peanuts are more responsive and they-"

KG: "I told him & now I'm telling you. I don't want to hear it from y'all."

Kobe: "Chill dude. We're just looking out for you."

Fisher: "Yeah man, relax. Hey yo Lamar, remember that time at Laker girl tryouts when-"

KG: "Lamar if you say one damn word I swear to God..."

"I PREFER SILVER DOLLAR CHERRIES!!"

"Tootsie Rooooolllll"

"I'm more of an onion man myself."

KG: "What? We can't say what about what?!"

Llama? perhaps. What about giraffe?

No?

Fish takes over for Mamba.

Fish: "Thanks my dude but I'ma head butt you like you Nash if you don't unhand my face."

Allen: "gak.. chkh...augh...uh...ghuagh"

Doc: "Kid, what's wrong? You OK?"

"I'm guess I'm just feeling Ray Allen's pain."

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