NBA Freestyle Wars - The Rhymes of Ron Ron, Delonte & Shaq

 The NBA hasn't produced any pro two-sport talents since Danny Ainge played for the Boston Celtics and Toronto Blue Jays in the '80s. However, more music, specifically hip hop, has come out of the NBA than any other sport. 

 Let's take a look at the freestyle skills of the three most prominent rhyme kings of the NBA, Shaquille O'Neal and Delonte West of the Boston Celtics and Ron Artest of the Los Angeles Lakers. A finals rematch on mics. 

 

 "Kobe, tell me how my ass taste" isn't the best look for Shaq, but damn if it isn't the most memorable hook in NBA hip hop history. Even so, it would've been better if Kobe looked more like this:

 Delonte West has the most watched NBA freestyle on youtube with his classic tribute to the food products of Kentucky Fried Chicken. He rhymes "chicken mang" with "chicken wang", he's got a hype man, and they spit several minutes of fried food inspired fire. Check it out.

 Can't you just see Maria Menounos rockin' these Celtics' jams at her next pool party with her Celtics beer bottle jerseys and opener? 

 

 Ron Artest has spit rhymes on topics ranging from the plight of women in Afghanistan to being a champion. His freestyle in this video covers his $40 phone and his backpack filed with more bags. It'll make more sense if you watch for yourself, maybe...

 Now if we could only combine all three of these rhymes and have Ron Artest in his car waiting for his food with this girl freestyling about how her ass tastes. 

 Who do you think has the best freestyle rhymes: Shaq, Delonte or Ron Ron?

    

LeBust In Beantown

KG: Yo Baby. Noah was right. We can not go back to Cleveland this weekend. You hear me? 

Baby: I know. Yo, let's send what's his name, that other curly dude back wherever he came from.

KG: That curly dude is Brazilian.

Baby: Bruh Who?

KG: Brazilian.

Baby: Well I'm about to kick Bruh Zilian's ass.

Baby: Yo Bruh Zero. I just put a zillion pounds of beat down on yo ass. Get up and let me do it again.

Sheed: There's 3 things I'm still trying to figure out....

One. What's up with Delonte ushering Rondo to the basket? Is he already trying to get time off for good behavior?

Two. What was Shaq trying to do with this move? Is he the Big Sodomus now?

Three: How did Nate Robinson get in this picture?

Jesus Shuttlesworth: Yo I forgot your name dude. Is it Less Williams or No Williams?

Brown: No seriously. I need this JOB! It's not fair that Boston already has all those plays that Red Auerbach left behind. Who left me any plays to run?

LeBust: I almost took you dude. Almost had that quadruple double.

Rondo: You right man. You almost got that ring once too.

LeBust: Yo KG. I'ma give you my last hug wearing number 23. Tell them to trade Paul and Ray for me yo. They old yo. Let me rep my number 6 in here next year. 

KG: We already have a number 6. Try the Knicks.

LeBust: Nah man. If I can't get it done with Shaq and Antawn, how I'ma do it with Galinari and David Lee?

Which is the worst: 9 turnovers and a second round bounce, being heckled by nerdy children,

or being a bigger MVP playoff bust than Dirk Nowitzki?

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Mojo's Round 2 NBA Playoff Picks

Eastern Conference

Cavaliers - Celtics

Each game in this series should be an outstanding battle. Both teams have outstanding superstars, grizzly vets and rising your talent. LeBron is playing his best basketball and the Cavs have all their weapons clicking. Jamison, Shaq, Varejao and West are quite an array of talent and they should have plenty to get past Rondo and Garnett. Cavs in 6.

Magic - Hawks/Bucks

The Magic dominated and destroyed the Bobcats in round 1. Meanwhile, neither the Hawks nor Bucks seem to want to get to round 2 bad enough. The Magic are deeper and more versatile than either the Hawks or Bucks. Right now the only weakness on Orlando is Dwight Howard's inability to stay out of foul trouble. That hasn't slowed them one bit. Magic in 5 over either Hawks or Bucks.

Western Conference

Lakers-Jazz

The Lakers were tested mightily by Kevin Durant and the young rising Thunder in round 1. LA's veteran savvy prevailed and now they face a more experienced team in Utah. The Jazz have lost Okur for the season but continue to roll with outstanding play in the paint from Boozer and Milsap. Deron Williams is proving to be the best point guard in the NBA. However, the Lakers are just too long and deep with Gasol, Artest, Bynum and Odom. Lakers in 6.

Suns-Spurs

The Spurs have been the nemesis of the Suns since Marbury was in Phoenix. No matter who the Suns put on the court, the Spurs play more consistently and usually take the series. This year should be no different. George Hill & Richard Jefferson have found their niche with the Spurs offense and Popovich has them all playing shutdown defense. Amar'e and Nash are good, but they don't have the versatility to get past San Antonio. Spurs in 6.

    

Mojo's NBA Playoff Picks - Round 1

Western Conference

Lakers - Thunder

If mind games count, this series is already underway. Phil Jackson paid $35K in fines so that the refs wouldn't penalize Ron Artest for bodying up Kevin Durant with physical defense. The Thunder don't have enough to deal with Kobe's skills & savvy and the impressive length of LA. Lakers in 5.

Mavs - Spurs

The old school battle of these playoffs. All told, these teams have played a combined total of 17,000 playoff games- at least it feels like it. The Mavs have the depth & experience at each position to take advantage of the Spurs. With no Bruce Bowen to harass Dirk, the Mavs should advance. Mavs in 5.

Suns-Blazers

The Blazers have had serious injury problems all year. They lost 2 centers for the season and coach Nate McMillan even popped his achilles heel. Losing Brandon Roy will be too much for them to overcome against Steve Nash and company. Suns in 6.

Nuggets-Jazz

Home court and health will be the difference in this series. Jazz vet Andrei Kirilenko is out with a strained calf and Carlos Boozer is day to day with a strained oblique. The Nuggets are still without coach George Karl, but Kenyon Martin's return should be enough for them to get by Utah. Nuggets in 7.

Eastern Conference

Cavaliers - Bulls

The Cavs have the edge in experience and depth at every position. The Bulls gave us a thrilling round 1 series against the Celtics last year. Cleveland presents a bigger, better & tougher opponent. Hard to imagine LeBron going out in round 1. Hard to imagine Noah's Bulls getting swept. Cavs in 5.

Magic - Bobcats

The Magic have the most dominant defensive force in basketball in Dwight Howard. It took them months to gel with new additions Vince Carter & Jason Williams. They finished the season strong and will use experience to get past the Bobcats who are making their first playoff appearance in franchise history. Magic in 5.

Hawks - Bucks

The Hawks enter these playoffs with higher expectations than their last 2 appearances. They have quality bigs in Josh Smith and Al Horford, great guards in Joe Johnson & Mike Bibby, and the possible 6th man of the year, Jamal Crawford. The Bucks surprising season suffered a major blow with the loss of center Andrew Bogut. Rookie Brandon Jennings will be fun to watch, but the Bucks will have a tough time keeping up with Atlanta. Hawks in 5.

Celtics - Heat

The Heat enter the playoffs having won 12 of their last 13 games. The Celtics have gone 3-7 over their last 10. Boston coach Doc Rivers is talking retirement. The big 3 of Garnett, Pierce & Allen are giving way to the all around great play of Rajan Rondo. Can he keep the wheels from falling off Boston's ride? Dwyane Wade is outstanding and has willed the Heat to unlikely playoff successes in the past. Even so, home court advantage should save Boston once again. Celtics in 7.