I had the strangest dream on Saturday. This 70s John Holmes porno boxer dude showed up with some freaks & a stuffed black panther and opened a can of Northern Iowa beat down on Kansas in basketball.
John Holmes said he was in a gang called The Bracket Busters. He got physical with the best Kansas player who was also the hero of the rival gang, the Bracketeers. Holmes tied him up like a calf in a rodeo.
Kansas dude tried to get the refs in the mix to save them & the Bracketeers. Other refs had just saved Villanova from a squad of mosquitos 2 days before. But these refs weren't having it.
Then John Holmes called up his boy Lurch Lager who was balding at age 21 & smelled like whiskey. Lurch was just as nasty as John Holmes & these Iowa boys kept turning up the heat.
Lurch called in his African friend with an Iverson sleeve. His name was Kwadzo Ahelegbe & the announcer Gus Johnson kept yelling "Oh What a Name. WHAT A NAME!!"
Black clouds swept into the building and a Kansas tornado led to a comeback by the Bracketeers. John Holmes's agent appeared out of nowhere with his Iranian friend named Ali Stroke. The agent tells Ali "It is said that purple beats white & cats eat birds. So let it be written, so let it be done. Farokhmanesh!"
I was dreaming and Stroke was unconscious. Shooting, swishing & leaving his bird in the sky. The fans weren't sneezing. They were saying "Farokhmanesh". He howled in response after each trey.
Kansas was crushed. Twins with matching tattoos cried in mismatch towels.
And John Holmes, his freaky friends & their panther went back to Lurch's bar in Iowa to party with some corn-fed cuties.
No comments:
Post a Comment