Message to Scores - LeBron Payback Plan

 Dear Scores,

As a New Yorker, I appreciate your offer to give LeBron James unlimited free lap dances for life in order to entice him to play basketball in our city. His presence could've put the Knicks back on the NBA map. He would've brought millions of dollars pouring in to NY and you did your part to encourage that. 

 You offered him endless lap dances and steaks. I bet there was an under the table clause that even included no holds barred champagne room privileges. 

 Yet he turned you, Mayor Bloomberg, the Knicks and me down.

 I'm not a Knicks fan per se, but LeBron's smug behavior is infuriating. I bet you're even angrier than me. You probably won't go the route of the Cavs owner and write a nasty letter, but I'm here offering to help you out with that.

  I'll publicly bash LeBron daily until he's out of the NBA. Relentlessly. Let him get bounced from the playoffs and I'll write 2 pieces a day about his failures. All I ask for in return is unlimited lap dances until he retires. I don't even want the steaks. Just the lap dances. And free drinks whenever the Heat lose.

Deal?

    

Gone Clubbin' - LeBron Style

      

LeBron James is out of the playoffs. The Cavs are out too, but nobody cares about Cleveland. It's all about LeBron. 

He seems like a mama's boy who needs to feel loved and get lots of attention without actually earning it (no rings, no slam dunk competition), so I bet he stays with Cleveland. That way, he won't have to hear thunderous boos 2-4 times a year when he visits the Cavs. 

Yet one New Yorker has made his own personal heart felt offer to lure LeBron to New York. Ed Norwick, the general manager of the Manhattan strip club Scores, offered the following to LeBron if he signs with the Knicks:

-free admission to Scores for life

-free unlimited lap dances for life

-free steak for life

Has Cleveland offered that? Does Cleveland even have strip clubs? Miami made a web site begging Dwyane Wade to stay there. Any strippers post pix on that site? The Vikings put up a billboard asking Brett Favre to return. Any pole dancers up on that ad?

I'm sure LeBron's posse wants him to take the Knicks' and Scores offers, assuming they get some free steaks and dances too. We won't know LeBron's decision for weeks and my speculation ends here.

For now, LeBron's season is done and he's gone clubbin'.

Here's a taste of what his future might hold in New York.

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