Flags & Flesh for Team USA's win over Iran at FIBA

 Team USA beat Iran 88-51 today at the first world basketball championship game between the two adversarial countries. Politics were pushed aside, both teams played hard & the best team won in a blowout. Kevin Love led the U.S. with 13 points and Hamed Haddadi of the Grizzlies led Iran with 19. 

 During breaks in the game, dancers were required to cover up while performing out of respect for the Iranian officials and supporters who are offended by the sight of women exposing their skin in public.

 

 The dancers wore long pants during their performances which allowed the most sensitive Iranian supporters to face toward the court at all times during the game. Iranian officials had turned their backs on the dance performances at previous games.

 What a wonderful show of sensitivity for the Iranian people and culture. 

 Now that Team USA won the game & continue on as the top team at the world basketball tournament, Americans should be allowed to celebrate in our own way, fully enjoying our freedoms and our appreciation for the beauty of exposed skin. 

 It doesn't get more American than Karissa Shannon, one of octogenarian Playboy Hugh Hefner's recent girlfriends, wearing an American flag thong on the beach. Thank you Kevin Durant for leading the US to another victory in Turkey so we can enjoy this moment.

 Cindy Crawford shares her stars and stripes at the beach with class and panache. God bless America and bless Cindy even more. Derrick Rose and his 11 points brought us this moment. 

 Raquel Welch rocks boots & booty, showing us that even in the old school, old glory was cool. She's a babe from back in the day of USA coach Mike Krzyzewski's youth. Thanks for the win Coach K.

  

 Dreamy Charisma Carpenter gives us hope for more Team USA victories and more reasons to celebrate in America as the world basketball championship continues in Istanbul. Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said there are no gays in Iran. Well our own Rudy Gay's 9 points helped seal the deal in today's game. Thank you Gay!

    

Geno Krzyzewski

What a Mad March.

In the Men's tournament there were upsets from Day 1. St. Mary's, Ohio, Northern Iowa and the kings of the new breed Butler put on exciting runs that had us believing in the little guy-

-until the Empire struck back in the form of Darth Krzyzewski and his stormtroopers of Duke. The devilish brood dashed the dreams of 15 young men and a nation who believed in them.

On the Women's side, we were treated to the emergence of rising new 6'8" Baylor phenom Brittney Griner. She broke the shot blocking record in 4 games. She missed a triple double by 1 rebound against Duke. 

Griner is a gentle giant who played the role of David against the Goliath of Women's hoops, UConn and their coach Darth Auriemma. 

Again, the stormtroopers rose to the occasion by crushing Brittney before toying with and destroying Stanford to win the title.

Krzyzewski & Auriemma.

 2 coaches who are only liked by their players and possibly their own families. 

2 programs who are only liked by their alum and bandwagon frontrunners.

2 empires whose smug arrogance & abrasive demeanor make the deep freeze look like a tanning bed.

There are rumors that the new owner of the Nets, Mikhail Prokhorov, will offer Darth Krzyzewski between $12-15 million to leave Duke and bring his ruthlessness to New Jersey. That's mostly good news because it instantly makes Duke more Jawa than Stormtrooper. Also, it likely means that Coach K will be on his way to becoming another college coaching Daedalus who fails in the NBA like Rick Pitino and Tim Floyd before him. 

Darth Auriemma recently said that the only job that would get him to leave UConn would be the Duke men's team gig. If Coach K takes the Jersey Bait, we might witness crash and burn number 2 when Auriemma's techniques fail to win the recruits Duke is accustomed to, leading to a collapse like Notre Dame football.

Here's hoping Krzyzewski takes the Nets job and Auriemma fulfills his prophesy, both to disastrous results.

May the Force of the Basketball Gods be with us until the empire is effaced.

      

Of Dogs & Devils

I love underdogs like Butler who inspire us by taking big shots, playing hard through adversity and daring to quest for upsets when faced with legendary referee manipulators, whiners & cheap shot artists. 

I love bulldogs, especially ones with Nike endorsements. 

I loathe the Devil & his blue mascot. Darth Krzyzewski is so devilish that after last night's game, he was still whining about bad calls. While gloating over Duke's victory he moaned about the fantastic bonecrushing & legal pick Matt Howard used to level Kyle Singler at the end of the game. Devil, go celebrate with your goat's blood cocktail & sheep brain soup.

I loathe devilish minions. Scheyer, on to your mediocre NBA career and future front office position based on university pedigree over talent.

Great tournament. Lots of thrilling upsets. Too bad we just missed out on the upset that would've counted most. 

    

Why Duke Is Bad For America

Is it that the refs let the Okey Dooks get away with blatant hacks to give them a better chance of beating players with more skills?

Is it the nerve of Dookie minions calling this overrated kid "The Jewish Jordan"? Anyway, that would be Nancy Lieberman way before it's Jon Scheyer. 

Is it that they are now multiplying like roaches & recruiting brethren spawn to their legions?

Or maybe it's their cheerheifers? 

All that is part of it. But we've survived overrated white hopes, referee favoritism & ugly cheerleaders before.

What is it that really makes the Dookies despicable?

In 1 long word

Krzyzewski

Go West Virginia.

Go Michigan St.

Go Butler.

Go Whoever Is Ready To Beat Duke!

    

Anybody But Duke

  72 hours and counting...
  4,320 minutes left to fill out my March Madness Brackets.
  We each have our own systems & theories. Some pick teams based on coaching tradition, others pick teams based on defense, and then there are those who pick based on warmer cities and favorite mascots (and it drives us crazy when they win the pool).

   By 11:59 Thursday morning, I will have convinced myself that not only have I picked the right 12-5 upset, but that same 12th seed is a natural pick to make it to the Elite 8 just because they are playing the Sweet 16 round in an arena 130 miles from their campus, virtually ensuring a home town advantage.

  Beyond noon Thursday, it's hard to see what really will bring the highs and lows. We likely to see some exciting buzzer beaters once we wade thru early round blow outs. We're also likely to see some mid-major Cinderella team build our hopes for the little guy. And we're ultimately hoping for bragging rites & some donuts to reward us for the 72 hours of prep facing us. Some of us didn't put this much effort into our college exams even though the reward will be a fraction of the long term value of a 4.0.

 Since the odds of winning the large pools I'm in are a long shot, I also look for smaller joys to celebrate in the tournament. This year brings a special treat. An overrated number 1 seed Duke team filled with the preppiest of the preppy pigmentally challenged goody goody drones of Coach Mike Krzyzewski.

  Each year, I have a mini-celebration when Duke gets bounced out of the tournament. This year, they are likely to be the first #1 seed bounced out. The higher their seed, the more fun when they lose. If they lose in the first weekend, it's almost like an early birthday gift. It could happen this year.

  The tournament tyrants clearly wanted to try to make Duke's road a little easier by giving them the winner of the play-in game between Winthrop & Arkansas Pine-Bluff. I'd love to see Winthrop make it in and then pay Duke back for the 84-37 thrashing they suffered at the hands of the Blue Devils in round one of 2002. Unlikely, but that would be a most unforgettable gift from the basketball gods.

 Next, Louisville or California will have a shot of sending Duke home in the first weekend. If Rick Pitino can focus more on the game than on his assistant's wives, his Cardinals actually have a good chance of beating the Dukies.

  Wait- the clock is ticking. I have to get to work on my brackets. Good luck on yours.
  Enjoy this blast from the past.