Eva Longoria Parker, the face of San Antonio Spurs fans, is leaving Tony Parker after discovering text messages on his phone revealing an affair between him and Erin Barry. Erin is the wife of ex-Spurs player Brent Barry. Their split comes just two weeks after the point guard signed a $50 million, four year extension with the Spurs.
Life always seemed so good with the Parkers. Eva, a glamourous Tejano Hollywood hottie fiending for a young Frenchman named Tony. Not Jacques or Yves. Tony Parker Jr., the son of an African-American basketball playing father and a Dutch model.
Longoria never seemed like a Kardashian clone using sports and celebrity to extend her decreasing minutes of fame. She'd already established herself as an actress with a bright future when she met Parker. She also never seemed like Posh Spice marrying the sports stud from her country. If she wanted that, she could've snagged Kobe.
Instead, Longoria went for a dude who was a decent player, but not the Man, on her favorite team in small market San Antonio. A team that got lower than average television ratings because of their methodical style of play and lack of flair. Longoria wasn't there for the glam. She was there for the game.
Parker won three championships in San Antonio and was the Finals MVP in 2007. Eva showed him so much juice on the court after the Spurs beat the Cavs in Cleveland that he probably earned platinum status in the Mile High Club on the flight home. They were all love, from Hollywood to Texas to France.
Now, Longoria has followed her heart's desire to snoop through Parker's phone. Bingo. Parker's busted. If Cleveland fans burned LeBron James jerseys, what will Eva do to Tony's? Hopefully she doesn't go full Left Eye and burn their house down.
What if she pulls a Joumana Kidd and heckles Parker from court side tonight when the Spurs host the Bulls tonight on ESPN?
"You French piece of merde! How dare you sext my friend like some oui oui Brett Favre. What else were you doing with her, French fry? Watch me snatch up Tiago Splitter and Dejuan Blair at the same damn time, bitch!"
The Parkers had a prenuptial agreement that was amended in 2009. Due to Tony's alleged infidelity, Eva will likely be entitled to a chunk of the $33 million he's made on the court since they were married in 2007. She may also get some of the future funds from his new contract extension. It all depends on the prenup. He won't lose Tiger Woods style money, but $millions are $millions and parting with it probably ain't easy.
I love watching the Spurs' style of basketball but I'll miss the occasionally eye candy of Eva Longoria smiling in the crowd, cheering for her team and her man. Maybe when the Spurs trade Parker to the Knicks for Raymond Felton and a draft pick, she'll start attending games again.
Or maybe she should hook up with Steve Nash?
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