LeBron Calls Team 'The Heatles' - Who Is Yoko?

 LeBron James is getting that giddy, full-of-himself feeling again. Now that the Heat are well above .500 and cruising toward a top seed finish in the East, LeBron is breaking new boundaries in praising his own greatness.

 "I see we sell out 99.1% on the road, so we call ourselves the Heatles, off the Beatles. So every time we take our show on the road, we bring a great crowd."

 When asked who was Paul McCartney and who was John Lennon, LeBron said, "I knew that was going to be a question. We're just the Heatles, man."

 I'm not the biggest fan of the Heat nor the Beatles. I'll take the Bulls and Celtics over the Heat in the East, and Led Zeppelin and the Stones over the Beatles in classic rock. So I'm not one of those who is offended by LeBron putting his team on the level of Ringo, George, John & Paul.

 Instead, I'm curious. Not so much about who would be John because the whole team seems cheesy like Paul McCartney's Wings. I'm curious about which one of their wives would be a good Yoko Ono. She joined her man John Lennon doing nude press conferences. Which Heat babe would be best in that role?

 Savannah Brinson, LeBron's long time girlfriend, seems a little conservative to be a Yoko type. LeBron has zero political edge and she seems unlikely to spark him in any provocative direction. She'd be cute at the nude presser, but not quite edgy enough to be Yoko.

 Gabrielle Union, Dwyane Wade's girlfriend, would be an outstanding Yoko, photo-wise. Real-life Yoko recalled her nude photos by saying, "We were coming from such a place of innocence." Does it get more innocent than Gabrielle Union fresh and waiting in a field of high grass? Even so, she's still a little safe compared to Yoko. No politics, no passion for peace. More Pamela Anderson to Tommy Lee than Yoko to John Lennon.

 Adrienne Williams, Chris Bosh's fiancée, would be an outstanding Yoko. First, what a nude photo shoot that would be. Bursting with delights for the camera. What sets her apart from Savannah and Gabrielle is that Bosh needs her even more than John needed Yoko. 

 Bosh used to be The Man in Toronto. Now, he's just King of All Role Players. Where's the glory in that? Adrienne can blow up Bosh's ego and inspire him to demand a bigger role with the team, causing dissension and possibly the dissolution of the Heatles. Unlikely perhaps, but she still gets my vote for nude photo Yoko.

 Ugh. Unfortunately, the most likely Yoko Ono is LeBron's mom, Gloria James. She already helped break up LeBron's first band/team, the Cavaliers. Between allegedly giving Delonte West her donuts and encouraging LeBron to take his ego out of Cleveland, Gloria James did more to get her son off the Cavs than his manager, Maverick Carter, and Pat Riley combined.

 And something about Gloria James reminds me of Yoko Ono's singing. I bet this is what it sounded like in Delonte's Boston hotel room that night.